Friday, February 16, 2007

Subconscious Thoughts and Hugs


It's been a few days and it's time for a post. I've really appreciated all of the other blogs that I have found and I really do draw inspiration from all of them.

Over the last few weeks, I have started thinking more and more about what I think about. In fact, it's made me realize how throughout my whole life my actions have been guided by my inner desires, without me recognizing it. It's affected where I choose to be, who I choose to be friends with, what I act like. Nearly everything.

In fact, this has been a scary realization because as I gain control over my thoughts, I ultimately gain more control over my actions. I mean, 2 years ago I might have become friends with a dude because I thought he was attractive and fun, and I wanted to be around him more. Suddenly I catch myself before my thoughts translate into action, especially when it is motivated by SSA, and I think, "okay, do I really want to carry through with this action (or behavior) because I am ONLY doing it out of innate desire for something.

Now, I'm not suggesting that there is something wrong with being driven by our innate desires, as long as we keep it in control. I mean, let's be realistic. EVERYONE deals with this problem. I overheard a group of dudes talking the other day, and one of them said, "Let's face it, I go to church not only because I believe in the church, but MOSTLY to see hot chicks. It's true."

At first, that statement might seem shocking and inappropriate, but I believe its true. If we think more about our thoughts we might be scared (as I have been) to realize how easily they translate into action, subconsciously.

I guess thinking about my thoughts has just complicated things a bit for me, but I think it's a positive step. I just have to now make a conscious decision to be guided by my SSA sometimes, whereas before I just was, and I was repressing it.

Finally, I added on this video on the Free Hugs campaign because I think it is really cool. For me, human touch is powerful, and I need it. The picture at the top of this blog is some Israeli soldiers embracing each other. I think the photo is really touching. When you realize how precious life is, that is when you really learn what matters to you personally. I really like hugs in general, especially hugging someone that I really care for. Also, I don't necessarily mean with guys, and I don't necessarily mean romantic hugs. I just like that feeling of knowing that someone is standing there with you, embracing you, and showing you in the nearly the most intimate way possible that they care about you. Isn't that what most of us want?

Stay tuned.

4 comments:

Samantha said...

I don't necessarily mean romantic hugs. I just like that feeling of knowing that someone is standing there with you, embracing you, and showing you in the nearly the most intimate way possible that they care about you. Isn't that what most of us want?

I'll be honest, there was a time when I didn't want to be touched by anyone. Then, only by my husband or children. Certain people in the Queerosphere have shown me that there is a level of communication found only in touch (hugging), and I'm learning, slowly but surely, that it's a vital part of friendships and other relationships.

Thanks for your post.

Enduring Eric said...

Nothing to me says, "I really, truly care about you" than a hug. No words or any other action can do for me what personal touch and a warm embrace can. Thanks for this post. It made me feel warm inside, now I need a hug!

Le Mec said...

Wonderful post. So true. Deep down I realize that I really just want to be held and touched and geniuinely loved. I think it's also cool that you are gaining this awareness of your thoughts and feelings. On my mission I began to perceive my feelings and needs more objectively, and now from dealing with my SSA I have been able to learn much more. I'm glad you realize that repression of our innate feelings is not helpful, because that leaves things unresolved. As we recognize our desires then we can learn to sit with them and then fulfill them in better ways. You're awesome, Thrasius!

Kengo Biddles said...

I think we with SSA often have to realize our underlying motives more often than those who don't...because we question everything we do because we're trying so hard not to do anything that we feel emotionally/spiritually is wrong.

And as for the touching thing, I've said it before, I'll say it again. WE DON'T TOUCH ENOUGH IN THE US.

Scientists watched Brazilians, Europeans and Americans in a bistro. The Brazilians touched their friends 100 times in an our, the Europeans 80, and the Americans something like 5. 5! We don't touch enough.

Eric, I'll give you a hug anytime I'm geographically close to you, man.

"And behold, others he flattereth away, and telleth them there is no hell; and he saith unto them: I am no devil, for there is none—and thus he whispereth in their ears, until he grasps them with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance."